5 times the Doctor screwed up Christmas and the one time he did'nt
by charlotteicewolf77
Summary: like the title says featuring the 2nd, 4th, 9th and 11th Doctors and Jamie, Zoe, Sarah Jane, Harry, Romana 2nd, Jack, Rose, Amy Rory and River


**5 times the Doctor screwed up Christmas and one time he got it just right**

Jamie and Zoe

"Oops." Exclaimed the Doctor as he accidently nudged the open topped can of super strong superglue off the table top and it splattered over the floor "how many time Jamie\?" he muttered to himself with an exasperated shake of his head. "You don't need to make me or Zoe a Christmas present. And you most certainly do not need to use that much glue!"

The time lord hurried out of the kitchen in search of a cloth to wipe up the offending mess.

Five minuites later Jamie and Zoe sauntered in, both barefooted.

And you can see where this is going can't you?

"DOCTOR!"

Said raggedy clothed time lord ran back to the kitchen as Zoe's angry yell reached through the corridors to him.

"I'm here, I'm here!" he called out. "What's happened?!"

"I'll tell you what has flaming well happened!" the young girl screeched, "You spilt superglue all over the floor and you didn't tell us so now we're stuck!" she broke off, chest heaving as she fought to contain her rage.

"Och, dunnae blame th' Doctor Zoe." Jamie began hesitantly, "It were my fault th' glue were on th' table. I were tryna make Christmas presents for yee both." The highlander looked ashamedly at the floor as he waited for his friend to explode.

"Oh Jamie, how sweet!" Zoe cooed, amazed at the sincerity of the gesture. "And of course it was the Doctor's fault, he should have told us that he had spilt the glue. And come right back here you!" she added as the Doctor attempted to sneak back out the door. He sighed and resigned himself to at least another three hours or so of reprimanding.

Sarah Jane and Harry

Harry had just presented her with a box wrapped in shiny red wrapping paper and tied with a dainty little gold bow made of silk and just as she grasped the material to carefully untie it and save it for later use an almighty crash echoed around the time travelling space ship and sent the two of them tumbling to the floor.

"Doctor!" she called out as the medic helped her to her feet and they raced down the winding corridors to the console room.

"Doctor!" she panted as she rushed out the open doors, "Where are we?"

"Sarah Jane?" The time lord's voice sounded from behind her and she turned round. Then promptly burst out laughing.

The long scarfed elder looked up at her wearing a hurt expression on his face, "It's not funny!" he protested, gesturing with a muddy hand around the dank and dismal swamp forest place. "the TARDIS crashed for some reason and now you're going to have to help me pull her out!"

"So much for Christmas." Harry remarked with a small smirk.

Romana the second

The 4th doctor and Romana joined the eager crowds of people gathering to watch a spectacle on the edge of the river. "Look doctor!" the younger time lady to her friend happily, "Father Christmas is on a boat and he's got lots of presents for all the children!"

"Humph!" the Doctor snorted, "Don't tell me you actually believe in that crack pot tale Romana! Every child knows that Santa is just a silly old fool who doesn't even live in the North Pole but Greenland and sleeps all day while the poor old reindeer clunk at his windows in the freezing cold desperate for food while Santa and his wife eat all the turkey and tease the poor reindeer something rotten."

All the children who had previously been watching the Santa in the boat in delight now had their backs to the river and were looking up at the Doctor with tear filled eyes.

Romana felt someone tap her back and turned round and saw an angry looking man and let out a world weary sigh that clearly said she had been in this situation before.

"I'm taking him very far away, don't worry."

Jack and Rose

The Doctor was coming out of his room where Rose was sleeping peacefully after an entire night of attention being showered on her.

The three of them had been coming back from a Christmas Eve party in London with Rose certainly tipsy when a stranger had come out of the shadows and shot at them with poison darts but fortunately none of them had been hit.

Or at least the Doctor had assumed that so when he almost tripped over the unconscious and puke spattered form of Jack he realised he had been mistaken.

"Oops." He said as he picked his friend up and carried him hastily back to his room. Honestly, he mentally chided himself, is that all you can say? One of your companions could be dying and all you can say is 'oops'? Really good friend you are.

The time lord elbowed the door open and discovered that the bed clothes were covered in a suspicious substance that he didn't want to know about and something that looked a lot like blood so he hoisted the former time agent into a firmer grip and headed in the direction of the medical bay.

"Doc'?" Jack stirred slightly.

"I'm here." He confirmed. "Thanks for letting me know you'd been hit with one of those darts. What is it, a lifelong dream to dry of dehydration and choke on the smell of vomit?"

"Nah, that's being stabbed in the back by a jealous husband at the age of 92. But I thought you and Rose should have a good Christmas."

"You know you are allowed to spend time with us. It's Christmas, surely everyone loves Christmas?"

"Nah, they didn't really celebrate Christmas back home. It's never been that important- religion sort of died out somewhere around the 33rd century. Sorry you have to put your plans on hold just for me."

"Blimey Jack has it never occurred to you that we might actually enjoy spending time with you?"

"Nope."

All he could think to say to that was "Oh."

Amy and Rory

"I can't wait to get to the beach!" Amy gushed happily to Rory as she chucked items of clothing out of her wardrobe in search for the perfect summer dress.

"Yes Amy." Came the nurse's muffled reply as he attempted to remove himself from the tangle of clothes." But can you please be more careful about where you're throwing your clothes? Funnily enough it is not my life's ambition to become the first human coat rack."

"Sorry." The red head apologised then her attention was caught by something at the very bottom of the wardrobe. "Oooh this is the one!" she told Rory, holding up a mid-length white dress with purple flowers embroidered along the skirt.

"Very nice dear." He sighed, looking at the pile of clothes and knowing he'd probably be the one who would tidy them away.

"AMY! RORY!" The Doctor yelled excitedly, "We're here! Come see the beach!"

"Coming!" Amy replied cheerfully, grasping her husband's hand and pulling him eagerly down the corridor. "I still can't believe we're spending Christmas on a beach!" she beamed and Rory beamed back.

"And I can't believe you've never spent Christmas on a beach!" the Doctor quipped.

Amy decided not to answer and rushed out the TARDIS' doors, a few moments later she stormed right back in and started yelling. "You dolt! You've only gone and landed us in the north bleeding pole!"

River

"I hate Christmas time." The Doctor sighed as he flopped bonelessly down onto the bed beside River. "I always seem to screw up in some way."

"I'm sure it's not all _that_ bad sweetie."

"Oh believe me dear it is."

"Alright, give me 5 times you screwed up at Christmas." She challenged him, sure he wouldn't be able to do it.

The tweed and bow tie wearing time lord sat up and began counting off on his fingers. "In my second regeneration I glued my two companions to the kitchen floor with superglue. In my 4th I crashed the TARDIS into a swamp and destroyed about 30 kid's dreams that Santa existed, in my 9th body one of my companions was shot with a poison dart and got sick yet didn't think he could come and ask for help and last year I promised to take Amy and Rory to the beach and we ended up in the North Pole in summer clothes."

"Well," River began, "You still have this year." She smirked at him and raised an eyebrow.

"You're right." The Doctor smiled, bringing his face so close to hers she could feel his breath on her face, "Now, what do you want for Christmas dear? Your wish is my command."

"Does that mean you'll dress up in a tutu and wave a wand about?"

"Well, after a few drinks anything could happen."

THE END


End file.
